101 New Uses for Everyday Things

101 New Uses for Everyday Things

James Baigrie

10 New Uses for Lemon

"Lemon juice is the strongest food acid in our kitchens, strong enough to make life unbearable for most bacteria," says Robert Wolke, professor emeritus of chemistry at the University of Pittsburgh and the author of What Einstein Told His Cook 2: The Sequel, Further Adventures in Kitchen Science (W. W. Norton, $26).

Use Lemon to:

1. Sanitize a chopping block. Run a slice of lemon over the surface to disinfect.
2. Eliminate the browning that occurs when food sits out too long. Sprinkle apple or pear slices with lemon juice before serving, or squeeze a bit into guacamole and give it a stir.
3. Remove tough food stains from plastic and light-colored wooden cutting boards. Slice a lemon in half, squeeze the juice onto the soiled surface, rub, and let sit for 20 minutes. Rinse with water.
4. Fade tea stains on cloth. Dilute lemon juice with an equal amount of water. Use an eyedropper or a Q-tip to make sure the juice targets the stain. Thoroughly flush with cool water.
5. Decorate on the cheap. Fill a glass bowl with lemons for a sunny centerpiece. Or display a row of them along a windowsill.
6. Relieve a sore throat. Cut a lemon in half. Skewer one half over a medium flame on a gas stove or an electric burner set on high and roast until the peel turns golden brown. Let cool slightly, then mix the juice with 1 teaspoon of honey. Swallow the mixture.
7. Whiten fingernails. Rub a wedge on the surface of your nails.
8. Shine the interior of copper cookware. Sprinkle a lemon wedge with salt, then scrub.
9. Brighten laundry whites. Add 1/2 cup lemon juice to the wash cycle of a normal-size load.
10. Remove soft cheese or other sticky foods from a grater. Rub both sides of the grater with the pulp side of a cut lemon.

James Baigrie

10 New Uses for Newspaper
"Newspaper, by design, is a very absorbent product, because it has to absorb ink. But that also means it is equipped to absorb all sorts of moisture, including moisture and the resulting odors found in shoes, in vegetable drawers, and elsewhere," says Chris Morrissey, vice president of marketing for Sun Chemical, in Northlake, Illinois, the world's largest printing-ink manufacturer.

Use Newspaper to:

1. Deodorize food containers. Stuff a balled-up piece of newspaper into a lunch box or thermos, seal it, and let sit overnight.
2. Ripen tomatoes. Wrap them individually and leave them out at room temperature.
3. Pack delicate items.Wrap frames and figurines with several pieces of newspaper, then crumple the remaining sections to fill extra space in the box.
4. Wipe away tough streaks on glass. Use newspaper with cleaning fluid to clean mirrors and windows.
5. Preserve antique glass. Some older frames have finishes on the glass that can be damaged by cleaning solutions. Remove smudges by rubbing with newspaper dipped in a solution of one part white vinegar and one part warm water. Let air-dry.
6. Dry shoes. Place crumpled paper in them overnight.
7. Wrap gifts. Use the comics to wrap a child's birthday gift, or try the wedding announcements for an engagement gift.
8. Create a home for slushy snow boots. During the winter, keep a pile of newspaper near the entryway. When your little snowmen and -women come home, they can toss their winter wear onto the newspaper instead of creating puddles on the floor.
9. Prepare a garden. In the fall, mow a patch of lawn to make room for a dedicated bed. Cover it with four layers of newspaper, then a four-inch layer of shredded leaves or bark mulch. Hose it down. Come spring, the compost blanket will have smothered the grass roots, and the bed will be primed for planting.
10. Keep the refrigerator vegetable drawer dry and free of smells. Line the bottom with newspaper.


James Baigrie

10 New Uses for Coffee Filters
About 100 years ago, a German housewife named Melitta Bentz punctured the bottom of a brass pot, lined it with blotting paper, and — voilà! — made the first coffee filter. Almost a century later, a perfected version of Bentz's design is still used. "Coffee filters aren't as likely to crumple or dissolve in water as typical paper because they have better 'wet strength,' thanks to longer fibers," says Melinda McDonald, communications manager for Bunn, a beverage-equipment manufacturer. "Additionally, the fluted sides and cupcake shape allow substances to flow through the filter freely and prevent grains from flowing over the sides."

Use Coffee Filters to:

1. Diffuse the flash on a camera. When you're taking a close-up, soften the brightness by placing a coffee filter over the flash.
2. Strain wine from a bottle with a broken cork. Place the filter over a pitcher or a carafe and slowly pour the wine into it.
3. Serve popcorn or other snacks. The filters act as disposable bowls, so there's no dishwashing.
4. Make yogurt dip. Use a rubber band to secure a paper coffee filter over the mouth of a deep cup or jar. Slowly pour 8 ounces of plain yogurt onto the filter. Let drain for one hour. In a bowl, mix the thickened yogurt with 1 small minced garlic clove, 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley, and salt and pepper to taste. Serve with crackers.
5. Heat up leftovers in the microwave. Use a filter as the protective covering over a bowl or a plate.
6. Prevent soil from draining out of flowerpots. When repotting, place a filter at the bottom, over the drainage hole, then add the soil.
7. Prevent scuffs and scratches on fine china. Use flattened coffee filters as spacers when you stack your dishes.
8. Protect hands from Popsicle drippage. Slide the wooden stick of an ice pop through a coffee filter so your hands stay mess-free.
9. Serve pita sandwiches. A circular filter is the perfect size for carrying a sandwich on the go.
10. Clean windows and glass when you're out of paper towels. Coffee filters leave no lint or other residue.


James Baigrie

10 New Uses for Olive Oil
"Olive oil is a good lubricant because its molecules easily slide past one another, thereby helping solid objects to overcome friction," says Wolke. "Its film also fills up microscopic rough spots in surfaces, making them look polished and shiny."

Use Olive Oil to:

1. Shave. Olive oil can provide a closer shave when used in place of shaving cream.
2. Shine stainless steel. Many cleaning standbys, such as ammonia, can dull and even corrode chrome and stainless steel. Olive oil, however, is a safe and effective shining agent.
3. Remove eye makeup. Dab a little under the eyes and rinse off with a washcloth.
4. Prevent wax from sticking to a candle holder. Rub a thin coat on the base of the holder before inserting a candle. Dripped wax should peel away easily.
5. Care for your pet. Add 1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon to your cat's food to help prevent hair balls.
6. Moisturize cuticles. Apply a small amount of olive oil to the nail beds.
7. Treat dry skin. Rub a thin layer over the skin after a shower or a waxing.
8. Unstick a zipper. Using a Q-tip, apply a drop to lubricate the teeth. (Avoid touching the fabric.) The zipper should move up and down freely.
9. Dust wooden furniture. Apply a bit of oil to a cloth and wipe.
10. Silence squeaky doors. Lubricate hinges by applying a small dab to a cloth, then wiping the top of the hinges so that the oil runs down the sides.


James Baigrie

10 New Uses for Dryer Sheets
Static builds up when fabrics rub together and exchange electrons," says Behnam Pourdeyhimi, director of the Nonwovens Cooperative Research Center at North Carolina State University, in Raleigh. "Dryer sheets contain positively charged ingredients that are released by heat and movement, such as the tumbling motion of the dryer. These ingredients bond loosely to any negatively charged fabric surface, such as a piece of clothing with static cling, neutralizing the charge and acting as a lubricant."

Use Dryer Sheets to:

1. Freshen smelly shoes. Insert a dryer sheet into the offending pair and let sit overnight.
2. Remove static from clothing, hair, TV screens, and computer monitors. Wipe the surface with a sheet.
3. Clean pet hair from the floor or furniture. Rub a dryer sheet over the spot where Fluffy left her fur.
4. Replace a sachet. Keep a dresser drawer smelling fresh and clean by placing a dryer sheet on the bottom of it.
5. Loosen caked-on food from a pan. Place a fresh sheet in the bottom of a dirty pan, fill with lukewarm tap water, and let sit in the sink overnight. The pan will be easier to clean in the morning.
6. Tackle suitcase and gym-bag odors. Place a dryer sheet in your suitcase or gym bag so your clean clothes won't take on the odors of the dirty ones.
7. Prevent old books from smelling musty when in storage. Stick a dryer sheet between the pages of your beloved copy of Pride and Prejudice.
8. Wipe up sawdust after working in the garage. Rub a dryer sheet over the fine wood particles.
9. Prevent thread from tangling when sewing. Run a threaded needle through a dryer sheet right before you begin your handiwork.
10. Dust venetian blinds. Close the blinds, then wipe up and down with a dryer sheet.


James Baigrie

10 New Uses for Baking Soda

Baking soda, or sodium bicarbonate, first hit the mass market in 1846, when Dr. Austin Church and John Dwight began selling their red-labeled soda packages. "Not only does baking soda neutralize odiferous fatty acids but it also attacks grease by turning it into — believe it or not — soap," says the University of Pittsburgh's Wolke. Fact: More than 100 tons of the refrigerator staple were used to clean the Statue of Liberty's inner copper walls during its 1986 restoration.

Use Baking Soda to:

1. Exfoliate skin. Wash your face, then apply a soft paste made of three parts baking soda and one part water. Massage gently with a circular motion, avoiding the eye area; rinse clean.
2. Erase crayon, pencil, ink, and furniture scuffs from painted surfaces. Sprinkle soda on a damp sponge, rub clean, and rinse.
3. Unclog a drain. Pour 1/2 to 1 cup of baking soda down the drain, then slowly pour 1/2 to 1 cup of white vinegar after it. Let sit for five minutes (covered, if possible). Follow with a gallon of boiling water.
4. Remove tough stains from enameled cast iron and stainless steel. Scrub enameled cast iron with a soft nylon brush and a thick paste of baking soda and water. Clean stainless steel with a soft cloth and 4 tablespoons of baking soda dissolved in 1 quart of water. Wipe dry with a clean cloth.
5. Scrub pans. Sprinkle soda on crusted casseroles and roasting pans and let sit for five minutes. Lightly scrub and rinse.
6. Brush teeth. Use a paste of baking soda and water.
7. Fight class-B fires (flammable liquids, such as gasoline, oil, and grease). Baking soda can be used to smother only a small flame.
8. Deodorize. Dust baking soda under your arms to absorb body odor.
9. Clean up minor oil and grease spills on a garage floor or driveway. Sprinkle baking soda on the spot and scrub with a wet brush.
10. Settle a stomach during occasional indigestion. Stir 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda into 1/2 cup of water and drink for a safe and effective antacid.

James Baigrie

10 New Uses for Vinegar
"Vinegar is a strong preservative because its acetic acid kills the microbes and bacteria that could cause food to spoil," says Michael Doyle, director of the Center for Food Safety at the University of Georgia, in Griffin. "It's also a good deodorizer — the acid neutralizes basic compounds, such as those found in degrading meat, that can be volatile and unpleasant."

Use White Vinegar to:

1. Pinch-hit for lemon in a savory recipe. Use 1/2 teaspoon of vinegar in place of 1 teaspoon of lemon juice.
2. Remove coffee or tea stains from the bottom of a cup. Swish 2 tablespoons of vinegar around in the cup, then wash as usual.
3. Treat oily hair. Vinegar is a good degreaser for oily hair because it helps adjust pH levels. Shampoo your hair as usual, rinse, then pour 1/4 cup over it and rinse again.
4. Wipe salt stains off boots. Dip a cloth or an old T-shirt into vinegar, then wipe away the white residue.
5. Make wool sweaters fluffier. Drop in a couple of capfuls of vinegar during the rinse cycle for an extra-soft feel.
6. Deodorize a garbage disposal. Make vinegar ice cubes and feed them down the disposal. After grinding, run cold water through the drain.
7. Clean a teakettle or a coffeemaker. Boil a mixture of water and vinegar in a teakettle, then wipe away the grime. Fill the reservoir of a coffeemaker with a mixture of vinegar and water and run it through a brewing cycle. Follow this with several cycles of water to rinse thoroughly.
8. Clean a dishwasher. Once a month, with the machine empty, run a cup of vinegar through an entire cycle to reduce soap buildup on the inner mechanisms and glassware.
9. Remove stubborn price tags or stickers. Paint them with several coats of vinegar, let the liquid soak in for five minutes, then wipe away the residue.
10. Kill weeds between cracks in paving stones and sidewalks. Fill a spray bottle with straight vinegar and spray multiple times. (Be careful not to get any on the surrounding grass, as it will kill that too.)


James Baigrie

10 New Uses for Ziploc Bags
In 1963 a unique bag with a plastic zipper seal was introduced at a packaging trade show. Most recently, the seal's strength was demonstrated at a Riverton, Wyoming, school, where eighth-grade students discovered an uneaten sandwich in a Ziploc bag at the bottom of a locker. It had been there for months. Students were so impressed with the bag's ability to seal in the odor (and mold growth) that they actually sent a thank-you letter (along with the sandwich) to the manufacturer, SC Johnson. In a letter back to the students, H. Fisk Johnson, the company chairman, called the locker "one of the toughest product test sites we've ever discovered." Good thing Mom didn't use wax paper.

Use Ziploc Bags to:

1. Knead dough. Place dough in a Ziploc bag so your fingers don't get sticky. Or slip your hand into the bag and wear it like a glove. 2. Store panty hose. Nude, Tan, Nearly Naked — they look the same out of the package. Tear off the corner of the package listing the brand, size, and color, then slip it into a bag. Store each pair in its own bag to keep hose organized and prevent snags.
3. Remove chewing gum or candle wax from a tablecloth, a couch, or carpeting. Gently rub gum or wax with a Ziploc bag filled with ice cubes until the substance hardens. Shatter gum with a blunt object, then vacuum up the chips. Carefully peel off frozen wax with a plastic spatula.
4. Pipe frosting. Snip off a tiny corner to use a Ziploc as a pastry bag.
5. Store homemade soup. Fill up bags, then lay them flat in the freezer. When the bags of soup freeze flat, you'll be able to pile them up like stacked books for easy, space-saving storage.
6. Protect precious cargo. No bubble wrap? Slip a straw into the top of a nearly closed Ziploc bag and inflate. Remove the straw and seal to make a cushion. (Heirlooms, however, should wait for that bubble wrap.)
7. Break up graham crackers or vanilla wafers to make a piecrust. Fill a bag with the cookies, then roll a rolling pin over it.
8. Prevent a handbag from turning into a snow globe. Store pressed powder and other compacts in Ziploc bags.
9. Gather herbs from the garden. Before winter frost sets in, wash, pat dry, and freeze the herbs in Ziploc bags.
10. Ice an injury. Fill a bag with ice cubes to create a cold compress.


James Baigrie

10 New Uses for Velcro
Velcro, whose name is a combination of the French words velour and crochet, was developed in the early 1940s, after Swiss inventor George de Mestral returned home from a walk with his dog and noticed that pesky cockleburs had stuck to his pants and his dog's coat. Examining the burrs under a microscope, de Mestral found the basis for a unique two-sided fastener — one side with stiff hooks (like the burrs) and the other with soft loops (like the fabric of his pants).

Use Velcro to:

1. Hang pieces of art or photos on a wall. Stick several strips of Velcro to the wall and to the back of a lightweight frame.
2. Prevent a jacket or a blouse from gaping open. Sew small pieces of Velcro between the buttons to create a smooth surface.
3. Keep a rug in place. Stick pieces of Velcro to the floor and to the bottom of the rug.
4. Stop seat cushions from sliding off kitchen chairs. Place strips of Velcro on the chair and on the cushion.
5. Organize toys. Affix a Velcro strip to the wall and Velcro pieces to stuffed animals to make cleanup fun for toddlers.
6. Keep track of the remote. Use Velcro to attach the remote to the side of the TV when it's not in use.
7. Remove pills from sweaters. Use the hook side of Velcro to pull off pesky balls.
8. Restrain wayward cords. Keep them in one place with a strip of Velcro.
9. Keep a pen or paper handy. Place a small piece of Velcro next to a desk calendar and on a pen so you can jot down to-dos ASAP. In the car, stick a notepad to the dashboard or the door of the glove compartment and you'll always have paper for a brilliant thought or a last-minute errand.
10. Picnic in peace. Keep a tablecloth from flying away by applying Velcro to the underside of the cloth and to the picnic table.


James Baigrie

11 New Uses for Salt
Think twice before you toss that spilled salt over your shoulder — the flavor enhancer is incredibly useful. "Salt has an affinity to water and can draw moisture out of many foods," says Wolke. "Grains of table salt are also very hard, which is why they act as a handy abrasive."

Use Salt to:

1. Make eggs or cream whip up faster and higher. Add a pinch of salt before beating.
2. De-ice sidewalks. In a pinch, it can be used as a substitute for rock salt.
3. Keep chicken or turkey moist. Rub salt in the cavity of the bird before cooking.
4. Prevent sautés made with eggplant or zucchini from getting watery. Sprinkle salt on these vegetables before cooking.
5. Eliminate sticky residue from an iron. Run the hot iron (no steam) over plain paper sprinkled with salt.
6. Clean drains. Pour a hot, strong solution (1/2 cup salt for every quart of water) down the drain.
7. Remove dirt from leafy vegetables, such as spinach. Wash the vegetables in a bath of salt water.
8. Prevent frost from accumulating inside car windows. Rub the glass with a solution of 2 teaspoons of salt in 1 gallon of hot water. Wipe dry.
9. Remove sangria and red-wine stains from your washables. Stretch the fabric over a bowl, cover the stain with salt, and carefully pour boiling water over it.
10. Keep shells from cracking when boiling eggs. Add a few pinches of salt to the water.

+ one more

11. Chill a bottle of bubbly — fast. Place ice around its base in an ice bucket; sprinkle with a few tablespoons of salt. Layer salt and ice until they reach the neck. Fill with water. Wait 10 minutes; serve.

{source: RealSimple.com}

燙傷處理新法....

燙傷處理新法....
燙傷處理新法..

燒燙傷如果沒有馬上降溫與止痛，未來的辛路歷程是可想而知。
當燙傷時第一時間不是很痛，是因為身體有百分之0.9的鹽繼續吸皮
膚發炎的熱而變成越來越灼熱痛，我們用鹽把熱吸過去就不痛了，
因為鹽有吸熱和滲透的特性，民俗廟會過火撒鹽就是這個原理。
我向一位年長的婦女說燙傷須馬上泡冰鹽水：有一次她跌倒整隻手
掌插入熱油鍋裡，她整隻手掌藏入鹽堆裡，結果手心手背都好
了，手指起水泡是因為沒有把手指頭張開，還高興的向我說謝謝。

★未破皮處之燙傷處理（熱水、熱湯、熱油、摩托車煙管、蒸氣燙傷）
實例：本案例曾在三年前被羊肉湯燙傷，採沖脫泡蓋送吃藥打針敷
藥半個多月還留下了大疤痕，去年我聽吳敏冠女士說燙傷用冰鹽水或
鹽來療傷效果很好，碰巧又被大型瓦斯爐灼傷，傷到整個手掌到手
腕灼熱痛的很厲害就用此方法來做，先沖水後再泡入冰鹽水就不
痛，可是一拿出來又痛，就藏入大量的鹽裡一段很長的時間!需耗三
個小時，泡到離開鹽不痛為止。結果皮膚紅紅的對熱源有四、五天
很敏感，但沒有敷藥也沒有留下疤痕。

FW: 教你怎样一句话噎死别人

有一个四十岁的女生长的还不错,有一份工作,收入稳定,有一天小明就问她∶你条件这么好,怎么还没结婚啊?那女生回答∶我小时候是田径队的,有一次受伤,脚底留了一个疤。小明就问∶脚底有一个疤,跟你有没有结婚有什么关系呢?那女生回答∶对啊!那我结不结婚关你什么事?


有一天小明看上了一个很漂亮的女生,想要追她,结果那个女生告诉他∶等一下我照一下镜子,看我是哪里长坏了,连你也要来追我?


有一天小明精心打扮一番,开着一部跑车,很兴奋的要去参加联谊,他心理想,条件这么好,想必是许多辣妹心仪的对象,不料却分配了三个恐龙妹坐他车,小明气到一句话都不想说,苦着一张脸开车,不料恐龙妹们却开口了∶帅哥,你心情不好哦!不然怎么都不说话?小明冷冷的回答∶你有看过垃圾车司机和垃圾说话的吗?


以前高中的时候,隔壁班同学做过一件很妙的事。有一个教得很烂的老师在他们班上课时,他举手了∶
「老师,我要去打电话.....」
「上课时间打什么电话?」老师不悦的说。
「我要去打电话报警啦!这里有人在讲台上骗钱啦!」
全班狂笑,老师则是气到说不出话来


有一次
教授上课正上得不亦乐乎的时候
发现竟然有人在睡觉
就很生气得叫旁边的同学把他叫起来
没想到那个学生竟用很不屑的口气说....
「是你把他弄睡着的你自己叫」


某甲在上课睡觉...
被很混的数学老师发现
他火大..就叫甲到黑板前面解题目.....
不会写的话就准备当众羞辱甲
其实甲没走到黑板老师就开始酸他了..
成绩那么差还敢上课睡觉真不知羞耻
脑袋是不是放在家里...整天只会睡...
没想到..那位老兄他居然会写......还解得很漂亮...
老师有点下不了台...只好让他回座位不要管他好了....
没想到那位仁兄居然还跟老师呛了一句....
我先睡一下
你待会还有不会的再问我


有个无比忠诚的共产党员死了，……上帝不愿意在天堂里接受一个无神论者的灵魂，就把他安排去了地狱。一个月后，阎王对上帝说：“你快把他带走吧，我得恢复地狱的秩序，他几乎把地狱里所有的小鬼都发展成为少先队和共青团了。”
又一个月后，阎王幸灾乐祸地问上帝：“至高无尚的上帝啊，那个共产党员他过得好吗？”
上帝回答道：“首先，你不要叫我上帝，你应该称呼我同志，其次，宇宙间根本没有上帝，最后，我没工夫回答你的问题，我要赶着去过组织生活，我刚刚转正

FW: 2008離奇爆笑事件排行榜

朋友們，一年中最激動人心的時刻到來了。
現在特隆重頒發2008最離奇最不可思議獎，以表彰那些在人類進化中最離奇，
最不可思議的人們，是他們，使得我們生活的折磨和壓力不那麼難以忍受。


得到本次大獎殊榮的是：
JAMES ELLIOT----作為加利福尼亞長灘市的准打劫者，儅他把點38左輪手槍對准受害人開槍時，槍卡殼了。
這時他做了非常有建設性的舉動----把眼睛對準槍口仔細瞄了一眼，同時扣動了扳機----這次槍沒有卡殼。



以下諸位是這個獎項的有力競爭者們：

1. 一個瑞士酒店的廚師被一台切肉機奪去了一根手指，他憤然向保險公司要求賠償。
保險公司懷疑是他操作過失，於是派了一個代表來檢查機器。
這個代表自己嘗試操作了切肉機，他也失去了一根手指------於是，這個廚師的賠償要求得到了批准。


2. 一個男人在暴風雪的芝加哥街頭奮力剷雪一個小時，終于給自己的車清出了一個停車位。儅他把車開來時，發現一位女士已經搶了他的位置
------可以理解，他朝她開了一槍，把她幹掉了。


3. 由於在一個非法酒吧停車喝酒，津巴布韋的一個司機發現自己巴士上的20名精神病患者全部逃跑了，而他應該把他們送到BULAWAYO的精神病院的。
出於害怕他的粗心大意被批評，這個司機把車開到了附近的一個公共汽車站，允諾免費搭乘每個乘客。
他把這些乘客送到了精神病院，並且告訴醫院工作人員，這些"病人"非常容易激動而且胡言亂語充滿幻覺------這個詭計直到三天后才被識破。


4. 一個美國少年因頭部被開來的列車嚴重撞傷而被送進了醫院。儅警察問他怎麼受傷時，
他說他只是想看看自己能夠把頭伸到行進的列車多近的地方-----然後他就暈過去了。


5. 一個男人走進路易斯安那州某個便利店，拿出20元紙幣要求找開，
當職員打開收款機時，他亮出自己的手槍並要求職員把收款機裏所有現金給他。
職員很快照做了，他拿了錢迅速消失，但把自己的20元鈔票留在了櫃檯上----他一共拿走了15元。（事實上這引起了一場法律上的爭論：如果一個人拿槍威脅你
要給你錢，這算不算犯罪？）


6. 一個阿肯色小伙子似乎想喝啤酒想得要命，於是他朝一個賣酒商店的櫥窗扔了一個空心磚，
打算砸破玻璃，搶幾瓶酒逃之夭夭------他沒注意到櫥窗是樹脂玻璃做的，空心磚反彈回來，把他砸得失去了知覺。
整個過程被全部錄了下來（我猜想這個傢伙會不會把商店告上法庭）


7. ANN ARBOR 新聞報的犯罪專欄報道說，密歇根州的一個男子淩晨5點持槍走進快餐店打劫。
職員拒絕說如果沒有點餐他沒法打開收款機。於是這個男子點了份炸洋蔥圈，
但職員說早餐時間不提供這玩意兒----該男子深感挫折，悵然離去。



年度特別大獎：
警察在西雅圖街道上發現一個嚴重不適的人蜷縮在一輛房屋汽車旁，
那人後來承認他企圖用虹吸管偷汽油------
但他錯誤地將吸管的另一頭放到了汽車房屋的糞桶裏。
（想象一下他用最含?管子大力猛吸時的情景吧）




真的很好笑~~

今年過年的禁忌還真不少咧

今年過年的禁忌還真不少咧

好像只剩恭喜發財可以講?

提醒您注意!!
牛年新年不能說的吉祥話

一、財源滾滾～裁員滾滾
二、招財進寶～遭裁禁飽
三、萬事如意～萬市如憶 　 ~股市萬點已成追憶 ,苦啊~
四、心想事成～薪餉四成
五、鴻圖大展～紅屠大斬
六、財源廣進～裁員廣盡

p.s..還有不要喝!!仙草蜜～先炒..me